Ok so I really don’t know what direction this blog will take.
The reason I’m making it is mostly for personal reasons, to use as diary (talk to myself & record important things) through this life-changing experience.
The thing is this:
After years of dreaming about this, I’m finally moving to Paris.
To be honest things aren’t nowhere near to what I thought they would be the first time this goal came to mind, and I dare to say that for the first time in life I know exactly what “mixed feelings” are.
Ever since I was super young I showed a special interest for traveling, and ever since then I said that I would go and live in at least 4 different countries through my life. Back then it was easy for me to see myself leaving everything behind without a second thought, and right now I’m sure of my decision and I love the idea of going, but somehow now it actually hurts to leave my family (when I always thought that’d be a minor issue) more than I can explain.
The main reason I’m feeling like this is that, at least in the past few years when I decided Paris was the place I wanted to live at… I was thinking of going either for a sabatic year or to do a master no longer than 2 years, so I knew exactly how long it’d last (though I was open to the option of finding an awesome job there) so I just knew it was just “some” time apart from my family.
But 2 years ago my life and plans changed drastically because the most beautiful person came to my life and has promised to stay.
I can say I’m the luckiest person in Universe cause I met the man of my dreams (in every sense) and what’s better than the fact that he’s from the place I’m planning to live at? (he’s french). This fact actually made me more certain that I want to live in Paris, cause we’ve been official for 1 and half year now and certainly haven’t been with the other 50% of that time.
The thing with LDRs is that you can’t really take it day by day (at least not forever), one has to actually make decisions in advance and that’s a huge pressure.
LDRs are already hard on the fact of missing the other person and all, but there’s so much more challenge than that (that the people who aren’t in one, would never understand). They can have just 2 outcomes, you either break things up before you become too attached, or you actually do a huge sacrifice and life-changing decisions to end the distance.
Well I’m putting all my bets on this man and I have not a slight doubt or regret.
I see him and I know he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with; and this translates into a huge challenge.
The reason why, is that if I want to spend the rest of my life with him then what happens? Am I gonna stay forever in France or are we gonna move to Mexico and make him be far from his family? If we have kids where do we want them to be born and grow up? Will we raise them with his culture and language, or with mine? or both?
I know I sound too rushed, but well these is the panorama I’m facing.
What I try to do is take it one step at a time (and try to get out of my mind the fear of never being completely close to my family again)
Right now the plan is to go and learn french fluently in order to be able to apply for a Master in Fashion administration on July and hopefully make an amazing career in this industry.
So my longterm FINAL GOAL is to become PR/Marketing director at a haute couture maison <3
Chanel would be SUPREME!